Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Coping Techniques

How do you relax and find yourself? Here are a few things that help me recharge.

  • Champagne cocktails
  • Hot tea
  • Chocolate dipped strawberries
  • Cheese plates
  • Water (baths, pools, hot tubs, oceans, you name it)
  • Sunsets
  • Shopping for make-believe jewelry
  • Buying fantasy real estate
  • Laughing
  • Planning vacations
  • Blessing those who upset me
  • Remembering good times
  • Dancing
  • Exercising
  • Walking
  • Biking
  • Spending fictional lottery winnings
  • Reading trash
  • Drafting trash stories
  • Playing games with my guys
  • Watching lowbrow television and movies
  • Enjoying good friends
  • Traveling (locally, nationally or internationally)
  • Listening to live music
  • Napping
  • Praying

Friday, August 3, 2012

Cool Couple Out On The Town

Welcome to the final few days of childfree week. Annually my mother and son run away together. My husband and I celebrate by doing things that we usually cannot; like late dinners at adult only restaurants and sleeping in. Each year I have a brain surge idea; something special that we must do. This year it was dancing. I love to dance but these days we get to do it only at weddings and fundraisers. The 2012 goal was to go to a club and dance like we did before parenthood.

After considering my proposal Mister Man proudly announced that he had found the perfect place. He boasted that it wasn’t easy finding a spot that got going before 11:00 pm. What? 11:00 pm? We’re not that old. We could afford to broaden our search.

Within 24 hours we learned that hot spot number one rolled up it’s carpet during August and transported the fun to The Hamptons. Shimmy joint number two was under renovation. The third choice responded to our table reservation with a $1,000 surcharge plus required bottle purchases. We may not get out much but we can spot a hustle. No worries. Nothing would prevent the fun. We were determined to paint the town red.

Last night a theatrically made up me slipped into slim white jeans, a pink, sparkly, sleeveless top and four inch platform sandals. You couldn’t tell me anything; probably because my huge earrings and cuff bracelet absorbed all sound. Things were going amazingly well. We dined al fresco at a hip Asian fusion restaurant listening to ‘80s music. If I closed my eyes I could recreate hanging out in my youth, except back then I couldn’t afford such an upscale place.

The first thing that I noticed was that I’d forgotten that I own cute little dresses like the ones that were sashaying around us. I never considered wearing those. They’re reserved for vacations. It hadn’t occurred to me to sport one out on the town in NYC. Guess I’m older than I recognized. Good thing I wasn’t cruising for a date. No. Really. Good thing he was there because I was too vain to bring my reading glasses. Hubby had to read the menu to me.

The fun kept building. Before we finished dinner I was reminded why my mother would scold adolescent Kamyra with, “There’s no dancing at the dining table.” One of my fav 80s tunes came on and my geriatric muscles ticked. I couldn’t resist chair dancing. My chopsticks gracefully banged against a sinfully delicious kier royal. The flute shattered onto the ground and the sweetness sprayed wide. Again, no problem. I’m too old to be embarrassed.

My date hoped the accident was evidence that I was tipsy enough for him to take advantage of me. If so he could take me home and stop closing his eyes. Two feet directly in front of him was the rear view of someone’s daughter in a wind blown mini skirt. That tiny thing wouldn’t stay down. Poor Papi. I had other ideas. After dinner and my replacement drink we profiled on the rooftop lounge before hitting the dance floor. Well . . . attempting to hit the dance floor.

Dancing hadn’t begun at the hotel where we were being so very cool. Since we were hanging in a neighborhood full of nightlife Mister and I cased a few dance clubs for music and scene. Things weren't looking promising. We failed to find the right combination. Plus I was afraid of bumping into our peers’ young adult children. I think I saw one. The reality was that we were too old to chase a party. I seldom did that 20 years ago. There was no need to begin at this stage of life. Instead we went home and made our own fun.

As I type this post the washing machine is serenading me. It holds a load of whites. Trying to rid my on-trend white jeans of the red kier royal splash stain and the pink dye from my cute top.

Last night was enough for these old folks. We’re recuperating today with a relaxing afternoon on City Island. That’s more our speed.

Thursday, August 2, 2012


Job Title:         Parent
Reports To:      Family and Society
Objective:        Raise productive, happy, healthy human beings

Principal Responsibilities:
  • Advocating
  • Arbitrating
  • Bookkeeping
  • Character developing
  • Cheering
  • Cooking
  • Creating & enforcing rules
  • Crying
  • Curing boo boos
  • Determining and distributing allowance & chores
  • Driving
  • Educating
  • Embarrassing oneself
  • Etiquette training
  • Event planning
  • Gushing and swooning over subordinates
  • Housekeeping
  • Ignoring eye rolling
  • Investment banking
  • Itinerary planning
  • Last minute face cleaning
  • Laughing
  • Life coaching
  • Loving unconditionally
  • Mentoring
  • Nursing physical, emotional and psychological wounds
  • Personal development training
  • Praying
  • Researching
  • Safety patrolling
  • Smiling
  • Spiritual advising
  • Supporting team members
  • Technology trouble shooting
  • Travel arranging
  • Wearing heart on sleeve
  • Working with toxic substances
  • Worrying

Although no previous experience is required candidates should be patient, thorough, flexible, loyal, courageous, quick learners with excellent organizational and communication skills. One should be willing to put others first and have an endless capacity to love. Desirable candidates must be multi-lingual (speak toddler, tween and teen); possess ability to accept constant criticism; willingness to torture subordinates is a plus; maintain a stiff upper lip; and, distribute hugs and kisses as needed (even if not wanted).

Secondary Requirements:
Current driver's license and clean driving record, experience monitoring and tracking budgets; detail-oriented with multi-tasking ability; comfortable working in a fast-paced, challenging environment and taking initiative to seek out information needed to advance projects; strong interpersonal, verbal and written communication skills; cooperative attitude and demonstrated ability to function as part of a team. The final candidate will be required to work evenings and weekends as well as to participate in overnight travel.

No monetary distribution but may accept sticky hugs and wet kisses

Self-determined and created. There is no opportunity for retirement however advancement occurs no matter your preparedness