Thursday, August 2, 2012


Job Title:         Parent
Reports To:      Family and Society
Objective:        Raise productive, happy, healthy human beings

Principal Responsibilities:
  • Advocating
  • Arbitrating
  • Bookkeeping
  • Character developing
  • Cheering
  • Cooking
  • Creating & enforcing rules
  • Crying
  • Curing boo boos
  • Determining and distributing allowance & chores
  • Driving
  • Educating
  • Embarrassing oneself
  • Etiquette training
  • Event planning
  • Gushing and swooning over subordinates
  • Housekeeping
  • Ignoring eye rolling
  • Investment banking
  • Itinerary planning
  • Last minute face cleaning
  • Laughing
  • Life coaching
  • Loving unconditionally
  • Mentoring
  • Nursing physical, emotional and psychological wounds
  • Personal development training
  • Praying
  • Researching
  • Safety patrolling
  • Smiling
  • Spiritual advising
  • Supporting team members
  • Technology trouble shooting
  • Travel arranging
  • Wearing heart on sleeve
  • Working with toxic substances
  • Worrying

Although no previous experience is required candidates should be patient, thorough, flexible, loyal, courageous, quick learners with excellent organizational and communication skills. One should be willing to put others first and have an endless capacity to love. Desirable candidates must be multi-lingual (speak toddler, tween and teen); possess ability to accept constant criticism; willingness to torture subordinates is a plus; maintain a stiff upper lip; and, distribute hugs and kisses as needed (even if not wanted).

Secondary Requirements:
Current driver's license and clean driving record, experience monitoring and tracking budgets; detail-oriented with multi-tasking ability; comfortable working in a fast-paced, challenging environment and taking initiative to seek out information needed to advance projects; strong interpersonal, verbal and written communication skills; cooperative attitude and demonstrated ability to function as part of a team. The final candidate will be required to work evenings and weekends as well as to participate in overnight travel.

No monetary distribution but may accept sticky hugs and wet kisses

Self-determined and created. There is no opportunity for retirement however advancement occurs no matter your preparedness

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