Monday, June 4, 2012

Super Try Hard Mommy

I have a super power. I don’t leap buildings in a single bound. I can’t fly nor read minds. I do become invisible. It’s kind of cool. The problem is that my son controls the power. He makes me disappear. There's a pattern. I can be seen when meals need to be cooked and at cash registers. I'm invisible when it's time to leave a play date or to turn off the computer.  

It'd be awesome if this super power were self-controlled. I would disappear when freshly watered houseplants are upended two seconds before we're heading out of the door. I'd vanish just before someone requests that I lead a volunteer activity. I'd really like to be unseen on our son’s first date with his future life partner. I’d whisper etiquette into his ear and snap pictures with a super hero camera.

I wonder how far he will take this super power? Will I be tangible mater when he leaves to pick up his prom date? I hope so. I’m planning to follow in a van filled with my girlfriends sipping champagne, wearing slippers and curlers. 

The last laugh is mine. Junior doesn't have 100% control of the power. I've witnessed him unsuccessfully trying to vaporize me. Usually when I forget to fade into the background around his friends or am about to issue a public admonition. Perhaps my real super power is finding humorous inspiration in how hard parents try?

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